Family Stories
Let me tell you stories my family has told me about them.
I will try to recount from memory these enteries.
My parents like to retell the same story 100 times so I think I know them off the back of my hand.
Well.... Here it goes.
The Time My Dad Got Drunk.
My dad likes to tell this story alot about when he was younger.
Actually two party stories-
The main one being the time he got super drunk with his friends.
They caught him lacking when he fell asleep
And they drew dicks all over his face with sharpies.
Then when he woke up - He had to walk home.
He said people kept honking at him but he was still slightly drunk
He didn't know why people were honking,
Well he got home and he was still drunk so he made a choice
grab a bowl of speghetti....and slopply eat it,
So now he has dicks all over his face and speghetti everywhere...
His mom comes downstairs and she sees him and starts LOSING it
Cussing him out and everything.... bruh
The second story is when they had a party at their house.
My uncle is known for being someone who loves attention...
So they are drunk and his mom wasn't home.
He decides of course
"If someone broke into this house, this is what I'd do!"
He grabs a PAINT BUCKET pours it ontop of his head??
He then runs up the stairs screaming
He then runs into the shower and apparently two chicks are taking a shower (fucking)
and he TAKES A SHOWER WITH THEM??
BROOO???
His mom came home the next day... saw the paint... beat his ass.
Speaking of my grandma, that lady was a church woman.
She loved Jesus.
I mean she would hold sunday church in her yard for all her neighbors.
Apparently, during a tornado - her and my dad were inside a church
Everyone was praying because well there is a tornado heading directly to them??
WELL the tornado hit EVERYTHING around the church BUT NOT the church,
And that's when my dad started believing in god.
Also maybe the fact that she like...completely out lived when she was suppose to die?
This woman was suppose to die 13 years in advance due to stage four cancer and she just
survived?
No clue how she did that but... yea and she was smoking 4 packs a day while on hard drugs.
She also told me I looked like a trashy whore the first time I ever wore makeup.
Shoutout to you grandma.
RIP
As for my mom...
She apparently was named after her sisters...imaginary friend.
My grandma on my mother side was....a piece of work.
I mean the worst person I have probably met in my entire life.
Yea, a normal person got mommy issues nah... I got grandma issues.
Like this lady would just cause fights for no reason.
say the most heinst shit possible.
Just treat everyone like shit...
Well apparently NOT everyone because...
I was working at a wellness store and a lady comes in.
My coworker points out her pants and say shes likes them.
The last smiles big and goes "Oh I am wearing them because my dear friend passed away,"
She starts going in detail about my grandma
I am standing there just like... "oh."
I don't tell her any information about me or that it was my grandma.
But she seemed so fond of my grandma.
It was a very weird feeling like bittersweet.
Also weird because their was no reason for that lady to be at the store.
She traveled from two hours away and just felt like "stopping in"
Huh.
As for other members, hmmm...
I mean my aunt wrote novels and novels about her ghost experiences.
I didn't really ever get to talk to her about that stuff,
I kinda of wish I did.
She was a pretty lonely woman, I mean...
She would prioritize buying cat food over buying her own food,
She unfortunatly died in a hospital that killed her.
It was unclean and it gave her an infection.
I don't really talk about that because my mom gets antsy
Then starts going on tangents about how its the hospitals fault
Shes right but also, what can you even do?
Sue them? For what? That doesn't bring my aunt back to life.
But yea, I don't know my family always has weird stories.
They tell me about their own synchronitizes
They talk about how strange our family is
And how weird our lives are compared to others.
That's just my life.
.